This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
