So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
