You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
