I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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