AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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