Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
