I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize