i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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