I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
