Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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