Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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