Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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