Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
