Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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