There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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