he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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