Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize