yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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