I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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