Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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