Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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