At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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