where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
