he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Someone shattered a urinal.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
