drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
