My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
