New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize