I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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