How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
