u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
