You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
We smell like vodka and hangover
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