Pants 0. Shit 1.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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