I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
