My sheets look like a crime scene.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
People with herpes should wear stickers.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so let's talk penis.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
