Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
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