A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
