Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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