my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize