just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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