My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
