yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize