he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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