i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
