your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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