I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Randomize