He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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