It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
