The maid of honor just puked.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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