She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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