she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌ðŸ»ï¸
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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