I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize