This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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