CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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