I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
