I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
