That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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