Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
