i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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