god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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