I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
