I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
