Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
