I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
