It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
