She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
