After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
