i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
