Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
