Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
