I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
