i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
