didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he thought i was a dude.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
