I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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