we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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