She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
