ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
home. puking in laundry basket.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
