and you said cock pushups were impossible
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
