I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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