Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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