That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
