The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Houston, we have a squirter
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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