Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
