I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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