Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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